goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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