you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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