Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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