I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
