Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
