She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
