Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
