Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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