for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
