he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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