He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
