I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
