This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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