you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize