I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
