I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize