I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
