she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
