I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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