i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
