Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
