Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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