I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
