I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
