you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
