It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
