Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
