dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
