She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
