I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
