You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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