ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
