we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
