just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
