smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
