i just had sex bonerless
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish life had little blips of pornography
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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