Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize