well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
