So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
