I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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