am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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