HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
