I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
