And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
