Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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