I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
