dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
