we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
