Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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