put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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