The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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