Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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