i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
