We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
