i just had sex bonerless
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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