The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
