I look better un-naked...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
