I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this just has baby written all over it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
