idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
