Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
