In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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