I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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