you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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