I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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