trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
