Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
