i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize