problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
