I want to have your abortion
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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