It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
