When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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