The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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