Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
