If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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