i would punch a child for taco bell
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
