some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize