Will you blow on my dice?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
