dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
