Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize