Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
